you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
