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• (972): View more from Texas

  Hey man sorry I got all grabby

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.

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• (435): View more from Utah

  Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  I think a kid would responsible me up

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna

  Fav 3 625 1888

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (925): View more from California

  You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.

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• (310): View more from California

  I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst

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