Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Chicken burrito, or no deal.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

Is that code for my vagina?

(402): View more from Nebraska

Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito

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(805): View more from California

Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.

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(817): View more from Texas

As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.

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(706): View more from Georgia

I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.

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29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias

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(916): View more from California

We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench

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(914): View more from New York

Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.

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