It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.