my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan