So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!