I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
