i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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