Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We don't watch enough power rangers
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
