yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
