I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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