So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
