ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
