I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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