Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
