I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
