What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
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All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
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The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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