I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
