This girl is more easily done than said...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
There r osticjed everywhere
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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