no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
