she smelled like a LAN party
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
