So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
