The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
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I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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