For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
