what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
