He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
