I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
