So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You pole danced in your parka.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
