well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize