so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
then he tried to convert me to islam
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
