I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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