we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
