we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize