yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
