this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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