My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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