She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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