I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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