YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
