glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize