Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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