first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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