I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
