Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
