hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
