I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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