i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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