Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
