This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
