can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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