If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Randomize
