I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
