I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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