yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
