I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
