R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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