Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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