Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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