Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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