Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
